What do vegans even eat? Kale salads and avocados?! 

Well, yes, sometimes we do. I’m not the biggest salad Stan, but this particular kale salad is so effing good, that it practically transcends the genre of salads. And who says a salad can’t be manly? This salad is so rich and cheesy and hearty; it’s a solid meal in itself. It’s pretty much the steak of salads. It takes no time to make, it can even be made ahead, and it’s guaranteed to satisfy even the most ravenous of vegan beasts. The “recipe” below is more of a guideline that I follow when I make this salad. Once you have the base in place, it’s open to your interpretation. If I have any advice to you as you proceed, don’t skimp on the nooch.

Serves 1 to 2 people (but probably just 1 manly man)

Base Ingredients:

  • 1 bunch of kale. I prefer dinosaur, ribs removed, cleaned, and cut into ribbons
  • ½ of an avocado, mashed in the shell
  • The juice from half of a lemon
  • 1 teaspoon apple cider vinegar (if you find your salad isn’t “bright” enough)
  • 1 to 2 tablespoons tahini (err on the side of more)
  • 2 to 3 tablespoons of nutritional yeast
  • 1 to 2 teaspoons of Braggs Liquid Aminos, or to taste
  • Black pepper to taste

Pour the lemon juice over the kale. Massage the kale until it has reduced in size by about half, and the color is bright and vibrant. Add the remaining ingredients and stir to coat. If you’re extra ambitions, just throw everything together at once, and just massage it all together. Taste for seasoning.

Suggested Mix-ins:

  • Grated carrot
  • Lentils
  • Bell pepper
  • Raisins
  • Sunflower seeds
  • Flax seeds
  • Chili flake
  • Hot sauce

This is your salad. Go crazy. Just don’t overcrowd the kale and throw off the flavor that you built with the sauce. Or just add more avocado and nutritional yeast, and then go ham on the veg.

Serve immediately, or let it hang out for a bit. The kale is sturdy enough to handle it.